There are lots of new movies coming out in time for the holiday season. If you are looking for some big, dumb fun, I would suggest “2012.” If you want some political satire and humor, “The Men Who Stare At Goats.” If you want to be really depressed, see “The Road” or “Precious.” Any of those films are more deserving of your money than the three below which should be avoided like the plague.
1) Blind Side
Sandra Bullock plays real-life Leigh Anne Tuohy, an altruistic upper-class white lady who rescues a homeless black youth and invites him to live with her family. Teenager Michael Oher who is now a right tackle for the Baltimore Ravens is raised by Tuohy and her husband as their son. Maybe this sort of do-gooder, uplifting schlock is for your cup of tea, but you could not pay me to sit through this pandering, cliché story of a white charity. The big joke making the rounds is that Bullock will be up for an Oscar Nomination for her role in the film. And I thought giving the Best Picture to “Crash” was bad enough.
2) Old Dogs
I thought they already made this movie and it was called “Wild Hogs.” I don’t know who in their right mind has the desire to see John Travolta and Robin Williams ham it up in a PG rated Disney film where they take care of a couple seven-year old twins and their dog. I’m sure lots of hijinks ensure but at the end there is a valuable lesson about family. I don’t need to hear it.
3) Twilight Saga: New Moon
This shirtless-tease of a movie is pretty much softcore porn for teenage girls. It’s barely even a vampire story anymore when none of them drink any blood but just look moody and sad. The largely plotless sequel has lots of brooding vampires and werewolves running around the woods shirtless showing their man-headlights and then there’s something about a girl who loves one of the vampires for some unknown reason. Don’t give Stephanie Meyer anymore satisfaction and money and avoid this film.